I knew a bully for many years who delighted in bullying me into things they wanted to do or they wanted me to do or things they wanted to do against my wishes. If you have found yourself in a same or similar situation, which could be one that involves a female or a male, the first thing I want you to do is stop feeling bad about yourself. The definition of a bully is someone who tears down someone else in order to feel better about themselves. You’re a victim, not an idiot. When I researched this phenomenon I found, of all the information I read, it was a kid’s website that gave the best adivce about bullies, go to Dealing with Bullies on the Kid’s Health Website and read what is there. Yes, it’s a kid’s website and it’s geared toward kids but in reality the same principals apply to adults and I think it’s actually easier to relate to! Bullies, the unfortunate souls in our world, are always going to be with us and by the very fact of their existence they will have to have victims, however, recently, through a great deal of counseling and coaching, I have been learning how to resist my bully and his pushy ways. This clip from actor Jeffrey Donovan from the hit show Burn Notice wonderfully outlines the process you need to follow to defeat them and I wanted to share this with all of you in case you are suffering under the same oppression I am. If it’s outside the work place in a more personal venue, use emails and keep them! Emails are legal documents that can be used in court! Also, if you have a video camera and you know you’re going to be meeting up with your bully, set it up where it’s unnoticed and video your exchanges. Also, keep track of phone calls made to you if they are harassing you on the phone. Share your story with others, cooroboration is key.
In the meantime, good luck with the bully you’re dealing with and wish me luck with mine!
Babeland